When we are told the person we have our center set on dating is it should be our cue to leave. It should motivate us to move on and pursuit elsewhere for a serious relationship.
But we don’t to appointment somebody else. We want to date this one specific person, so when they tell us something we don’t want to hear, we discount them, we twist their words, we convince ourselves they will change their heads eventually.
We get stuck as friends with advantages because we believes there person or persons will fall madly in love with us once we kiss, formerly we touch, formerly we sleep together. We accept investing enough time together will form an unbreakable bond. We believe they will grow to feel the same direction about us because our passions are too strong to be one-sided.
We agree to casual hookups when we are secretly searching for something more serious since we are assume these agreements isn’t going to been a long time. We expect it will only be a matter of time until the other person recognizes how perfect we are together. We accept a committed relationship is on the horizon.
Even when someone is straightforward with us, when they declare they are going to break our hearts, when the warning signal are blaring in our face, we stick around. We threw ourselves through blaze because we believe it will pay off in the end. We are persuasion we are doing the right thing.
We tell little white lies about how we are perfectly fine deterring things casual. We squash our jealousy, we censor our praises, we deem ourselves back from getting into petty arguings, because we don’t want to pursue the other person away.
We act like we do not care. We act like we do not have centres. All because we assume, if we cooperate for long enough, the other person will eventually come to the conclusion they are not able live without us.
We believe in a fairy story, rom-com version of passion where everything works out in the end, where best friends become fans, where anyone lives happily ever after.
We tell our passions blind us. We tell this other person take advantage of us because we tell ourselves spending a occasion with them is better than spending time with them. We give them all the tools to suffer us, even though they defined clear frontiers from the start.
We end up protruded as friends with benefitseven though we are secretly searching for a serious relationship, because we are tenacious. We consider waiting romantic. We refuse to move on from people who have made quite clear they are wrong for us. We give them too many opportunities. We give them too much credit.
We should accept we want different things and left open behind, but we maintenance rendering it one more era. We keep telling ourselves our fairy story happy pointing is right all over the area when reality is a little more complicated.