Trans/Sex: Here’s what you need to know before having sex with a trans woman

Ana Valens

Trans/ Sex is a column about trans people’ relationships with love, copulation, and their bodies. Have a topic proposition? Contact Ana Valens at [ email protected] or @SpaceDoctorPhD on Twitter.

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When a cis person wants to have sex with a trans female, they often returning a ton of delusions and impolite curiosities into the area: How did you get so soft and smooth? Are your breasts real? Did the surgery give you hips? Since you have a dick, you like doing anal, right?

If you’re like me, such issues are tiring. I want to have sex , not play Trans Sex Ed 101. But I get why these stories come up time and time again. In Western culture, we assume that the most default , normal, and human sex experience is penis-in-vagina piercing. This is treated as the gold standard, and trans figures live in its darknes. The presumption is that a penis, by its sheer reality, must be put into something for copulation to happen.

This isn’t true, of course. But if you’ve grown up in national societies that tell me something sex involves a cis soul fucking a cis woman, it’s easy to believe that’s the best way to have sex. Trans copulation challenges that. And if you’re interested in a trans wife, you owe it to her to learn a little more about trans forms before grabbing coffee, let alone before taking off her clothes.

To combat the knowledge gap, I requested trans females to tell me the most difficult fallacies they’ve come across; I fielded questions from tribes who don’t determine as trans ladies; and I tackled some of the stories I’ve come across in my own sex life. Below are some of the more common myths and outright lies that trans girls face in their copulation lives.

Myth: We look feminine because of surgery

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