Today I took a picture of myself in a bikini and may I add that I didn’t filter it.
Let the stupor set in.
But, I likewise didn’t share the picture — til now, that is.
Today I took a picture of myself in a bikini because I needed to prove to myself that I was worthy of wearing a bikini.
Seems like a strange statement to use when referencing your attire; but yes, for a long time and since birthing three amazing children, I haven’t quite felt like I am a framework campaigner for bikini-wearing.
For a few summertimes now, my[ 7] -year-old has enjoyed wearing age-appropriate two-pieces, the cutest of which have been the toddler bikinis with her little’ I-drank-too-much-milk-and-ate-too-many-snacks’ child bowel on display.
Ain’t nothing cuter than that. I signify earnestly, any of my little munchkins in their bathing suits give the Coppertone kid a run for their money.
I would say, though, beginning last summer, my daughter would question me as to why I wasn’t wearing a two-piece bathing suit.
I would tell her “Mommy simply doesn’t feel comfortable in it, ” and when she would push for me to explain what I represent I would simply deflect these discussions and brought forward by a brand-new topic.
I know that I am supposed to model a positive mas image for my daughter.
I know that I am “re supposed to” epitomize mas self-confidence.
I know that I shouldn’t engage in negative self-talk in front of any of their own children, and I sure as heck are well aware that I should never make it sound as though my or any person’s appearance is what matters about them. Still, I wore the one-piece, and I’ve worn it reasonably often in recent years.
And, on the rare occasions that I decided to be brave enough to bare my belly, I objective up obscuring it with an oversized-tank, the hubs t-shirt, or a beach cover-up.
That was…until this past weekend!
Can you believe it?
I actually was just going to a pool party and wore a bikini and guess what? I wasn’t as self-conscious as I imagined I would be.
In fact, it felt good to kind of rock a “this is me” attitude and own my torso, flaws and all.
Do I just wanted to get into better shape? Of course, I do.
Would I like my boobs to sag a little less and perhaps flourish or perk up some? Certainly.
Would I like my unfold differentiates be done away with? I’m not quite so sure.
While I would love to be more toned and look better in a bikini, I noted myself examining down at my lower belly fluff and faded unfold marks and then over to my boys and thinking “this body gave me them.”
And for that, well, at a minimum, I owe my organization kind words when I be talking about it, and I owe it a selfie which I will gladly share.
** This article initially appeared on Jthreenme.com. Published with dispensation.