Traveling solo and being single at the age of 35 has learnt me a lot. Largely about myself, but likewise about how conditioned we are as humen to believe we need to follow a specific route in life.
The Path: Develop up. Move to academy. Get a chore. Move out. Get married. Have children. Retire .</ b>
It punches my intellect how most humans on this planet accept this to be the channel with no real ground of the reasons why. We don’t genuinely question why we are even following it. We subconsciously have become conditioned to follow it and hit all of the checkpoints that enables us determine how close we are to’ attaining happiness.’ So we play the game. It is just what we are supposed to do. It is the only direction we know how.
There is nothing wrong with The Path, except we for some reason believe it is the only path. And no one teaches us what to do if any of these things don’t happen. If we aren’t on track to smack the next checkpoint, we begin to freak out. We get depressed, wonder what is wrong with us. We feel insufficient compared to all of the other humans going along line-up of us who have gone to institution, graduated, have a good job, and are in a relationship or employed and on track to get married. One date we are right next to them, strolling along toward the next checkpoint, and then all of the abrupt we get dropped, our relationship intents, or we get fired from our job. And, like in the board game “Sorry! ”, you will be required to move your slouse back to “start” and begin all over again. Sit on the sidelines as “youre watching” others moving their fragments up the final unfold toward “home.”
LONELINESS IS A STATE OF MIND
I would eventually like a long-term relationship. And because I don’t have one, there are times when I unconsciously find myself are beginning to compare where I am to what others are doing. I start to feel insufficient because I am single. Because I am not where I am “supposed to be.” Even though inside, I am generally happy. But still, from time to time I start to have these remembers like, What is wrong with me? Will I ever matched someone I actually like? What do others think of me? Are my mothers obsessed? What if I do end up alone? Who will take care of me when I can no longer take care of myself ?</ i>
And then I feel, Okay. Alone, that is an interesting abstraction . It is true that I don’t have one person, the same person, to share all of my own experience with. But that still doesn’t symbolize I am actually knowledge any of this alone. I feel more loved being single than I ever have when in a serious relationship. So why do I feel this behavior? Who says I have to be with person or persons for the rest of “peoples lives” by the age of 30? Why is there a certain time frame where I am supposed to meet person or persons and then stay with them forever?
I am single, yes, but I still knowledge feeling. Intimacy. Communication. Even more so than some people who are in long-term relations. I am not alone at all. If the Universe came to me and said, Hey Jill, here is the person you are able to invest the majority of members of your life with. Do you want to be with him now or afterward ?</ i> I would frankly elect a appointment afterward in “peoples lives” for that to happen so that I could still do what I am doing now. I want to learn more about myself, encounter different types of people, fall in love with myself even more so that I can be a better lover to him one day. So that I can enjoy that section in life as much as I am enjoying this one.
And feeling this behavior evidences me that it is not where you are on The Path that effects unhappiness. It is the uncertainty of where your footpath is leading. Where you will end up.
LIKE A FAIRY TALE
I have met so many amazing soldiers on this journeying. Most as acquaintances. A few as admirers. All of them from different parts of the world. All of them learnt me different things about life and about myself.
While in the Philippines, I gratified this beautiful French being in passing. I thought of him the rest of the day. Tall, pitch-dark, and handsome, his mane was beautiful and his accent sexy. That night, I was standing outside of a table by myself “re all waiting on” your best friend to meet me. Out of the corner of my seeing, I watched the French person stepping toward me. He marched right up to me, residence his hands between the two sides of my leader, and kissed me passionately. We look at each other in the eyes for a moment in silence, my heart fluttering. I smiled and walked away to gratify your best friend and never encountered him again.
There are also the deeper connections. There are a handful of men I have been lucky enough to invest days or weeks with while traveling who have all stolen a piece of my center. They are genuinely good people who are intelligent, deep, imaginative, and enthusiastic, all which acquires them particularly alluring. And if I set them in a line up, you would be seen to what extent “theyre all” so completely different from one another. Not only where they come from, but where they are on their expedition in life, what they are currently struggling with, what draws them happy, even their identities. And I adore this. It is great that I can have such a deep bond with such a diverse group of men. They help me experience life through multiple attitudes, bring out different areas of my personality, and be demonstrated by the regions in which I still have chamber to grow as a person. And I can candidly say that I would be interested in dating any one of them long term.
Had I met them at home, maybe that is something I would try to pursue. But traveling is also well taught me how to let go. How to simply enjoy the moment. Telling run of all outcomes. How to fall in love and then say goodbye. And these are such good skills to have. Not only with adore, but with anything we want. We often try to hold on to things too tightly. We try to control the outcome. And most of the time, the best things happen not when they are forced, but when they are free.
I also think about these kinds of person I eventually do want to allure and expend the majority of members of my life with. Someone who is free. Spontaneous. Self-aware. Honest with themselves and others. Hungry. Intelligent. Passionate about life. And if I want to attract these things, I realize that first, I need to become them. Traveling has helped me do this. And also isn’t it so cool about the French guy?
A NEW PATH FILLED WITH GELATO
There are indeed numerous individuals who have followed The Path and genuinely saw merriment. But I strongly believe it is not The Path itself that produced this. Because there are also others who reach out to me and express their bitternes of the mode I am living my life and the different types of knowledge I am having. They wish they are likely to knowledge the same things but feel stuck. But why? They have followed the instructions. Hit all the checkpoints. Yet they are continuing don’t feel happy or fulfilled.
I think this is because ultimately, there is not one single route to follow that leads to merriment. In ordering to feel truly happy, one should strive to feel at peace regardless of outside circumstances. It doesn’t matter where you are in life or what street you took to get there. It is about being able to stop right now , no matter where you are, and feel content , not pleasing you had taken a different road to get here. It’s about being okay with not knowing where you are headed.
So from now on, I want to suggest a brand-new path. One that is not set in stone and that is unique for every individual, with twistings and turns and unexpected street closes. Where there is no checkpoint that will reassure you that you are where you are supposed to be in life. The only way to tell that you are on the right track is to decide to believe you are. Accept and enjoy this moment. Enjoy it. All you have knowledge. Where you need to grow. The struggles you continue to face. How you are able to overcome them or, most importantly, how you can espouse them. And feeling at peace in the midst of all of it.
My path looks more like this: Flourish up but continue to play. Educate myself. Learn brand-new things. Get my daydream position. Discontinue my dreaming chore. Learn more. Explore the world. Fall in love with myself. Live in a bungalow on a remote island. Learn how to channel-surf. Learn how to participate harmonica. Fall in love. Have my nerve separate. Stimulate out with more French humankinds. Are strong. Fallen in love again. Travel. Eat gelato for breakfast. Learn about different cultures. How different people suppose. And no matter what, enjoy life. Every single epoch.