I’ve been a bridesmaid a couple of times now, and next year will be my first stint as Maid of Honor. When you’re a bridesmaid, you basically are the bitch of the bride, set to do her wishes as a kind of modern bondage, except you actually pay her in frou-frou tulle gowns and Vegas bachelorette parties. We all suck it up and do it with the expectation that your best friend will hurl you an awesome bachelorette when you get married and likewise so our bride friends knows we’re aroused for her and crave the best for her and are entirely not jealous. While a lot of it was able suck, most of it should be a altogether fun experience accepting your BFF isn’t The Worst. Try to make it easier on her by not doing these things as a bridesmaid 😛 TAGEND
As a MOH, I can tell you it’s really hard to coordinate everyone’s schedules for the bridal events. If you can’t make it, don’t feel like winging out multiple times, have a occupation that doesn’t make a lot of vacation, wholly fine. Unless your bride is a monster , no one is going to be mad. Merely be upfront about existing conflicts. The worst is when a bridesmaid is being is hard to schedule around, i.e ., wants the bachelorette to be on weekdays, or requirement it be one specific weekend because of their avid music festival schedule. IDGAF when Coachella is, don’t come then, Jen!
When it comes to scheming an event with tons of people, it’s a majority rules situation. We pick the weekend most people can induce.( And no , no one wants to do weekdays .) If you really want to come, you may have to move your schedule. And God help you if you try to interfere with the wedding day, which is usually laid down in the venue. The only things the MOH and bride “re going to have to” plan around are if you’ve got another wedding, a trip pre-planned, or something else of~ actual~ important. If it’s your dad’s birthday, you’re just going to have to celebrate when you get back. If we try to coordinate a journey around nine daughters’ schedules and dad’s birthdays, we’ll never get to go!
Yes, the $300 tulle monstrosity is expensive. Yes, we all detest our whisker in beehives. Yes, the Air BnB would then be cheaper but the inn is strolling distance to the strip so we don’t have to pay for Ubers. There are lots of things about has become a bridesmaid that suck. We’re all aware of this. It sucks equally for all of us. So don’t complain about it. If you can’t render something, politely talk to the bride about it separately and realise what you can do. You are not required to go into indebtednes for someone’s wedding or be like Annie from Bridesmaids with that ludicrous Fritz Bernaise. But merely do it privately so you don’t ruin it for everyone else. Also? If you do decide to shell out the cash for all the bridesmaid stuff, don’t bitch about it later, especially to the bride, Scheana.
Cry About The Look
Coming off the tulle and beehives, don’t be a baby about the appear the bride has foreseen. It’s just not about you. If she imagines dressing you all up as June Cleaver is* adorable *, let her( and mock the pictures for the rest of their own lives ). The worst thing you can do is make a scene because you don’t like your mane or makeup. I was a bridesmaid in a wedding where the MOH hurled a screaming, crying tantrum at the dress fitting because she couldn’t fit in the sample size. The whole event was ruined, we all felt really uncomfortable, and we terminated up only leaving. The MOH then got to pick out our dress herself with the bride and we all hated them and they gave us literal rashes. Don’t ruin these things for everyone. We all look stupid together and you just is essential to cool. No cares that you don’t have the body of a dummy, we care that you’re a complete nightmare.
Back Out Of Events
As previously mentioned, if you can’t go, don’t go. If you can’t render it, can’t take time off, etc ., be upfront. It’s way worse to let everyone program around you and then back away subsequently. Bridesmaids are typically expected to host the shower and bachelorette. If you can’t do it, don’t. But if you all pitch in for certain forms of hotel rooms, and then you bail last minute, the cost will go up for everyone else. Same runs for hosting a shower. So tell everyone ahead of hour if you can be a bridesmaid in the bridal but can’t render to do all the extra events. That is totally okay. And if you have a conflict after devoting, it’s better just to pay anyway so as not to screw everybody else over. Also? Don’t bail on something you already committed to because you get a better offer. These little events are really important to the bride and the bridesmaids will all remember how sh* tty “youre gonna” it.
Drop Out Of The Wedding
Number one on the listing of things you are able to never do as a bridesmaid is drop out of the wedding altogether. Remember, this is really important to the bride and she wouldn’t have asked you if she didn’t want you there. The only reason to drop out of a bridal is a legitimate emergency or because the bride has become so unbearable that you’re willing to end your friendship over it. Which like, if I was expected to spend $ 1,000 on a dress, I entirely would. But otherwise, it’s totally sh* tty to back out of someone’s wedding. This is your simply true commitment: demonstrating up and standing up there with the bride. If you have financial concerns, talking here it when you’re first asked and most brides will work with you so you can be there. If you bail, specially last minute, it probs will end your friendship.
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