Are you the proud parent of a wild babe, a mini Tasmanian demon in diapers … a’ horrific twos’ or’ merciless fours’ survivor?
If any or ALL of the above apply, you and Mary Katherine Backstrom may simply be spirit animal momma. You are one of a tribe of many who is the caretaker of what the mama blogger calls a “feral child.”
While by technological explanation, “feral” implies that the child has lived segregated from human contact, Backstrom argues that some children are just born feral — and regardless of what Mr. or Mrs. Know-It-All down the street may tell you, there is an opportunity NOT be tamed.
As the mother of an adorably wild and total fright of a 3-year-old, Backstrom is all too aware of this reality.
In a viral Facebook post, she decided to share a few chips of wisdom about raising ferals that have all the momma of strong-willed and free-spirited kiddos applauding “AMEN.”
Read it in full below :
“Some children are just born feral.
Parents can potty develop and sleep develop and teach manners until their psyches are about to explode, but there are some infants who, for some reason God simply knows, can’t be tamed.
They are the kids who pluck their diapers off and colour the members of this house with their own poop.
They are the kids who ingest dead glitches off the storey and jostle TNT snap-n-pops into their ear canals.
They are the kids who meet your emergency room deductible by February.
They are the kids who are responsible for your forehead wrinkles and every, single gray hair.
They play too close to the water, work through the hallways with forks, and somehow( like actually, HOW ?) clambers the hearth mantle.
Like I said, some children are just born feral.
So what should parents do with these tiny little wildebeests?
Society surely has beliefs. Experts have their hypothesis. Writers have their volumes. Pharmacies have their pharms.
Little old ladies are gonna stop and sway their foremen and their long shrivelled thumbs, since they are think they know.
But, parents, listen to me right now because I’m gonna save you some serious agony and stress :
NOTHING IS GONNA TAME A FERAL BORN CHILD
So handle your electric outlet with plastic plugs and anchor your furniture to the floor. Conceal your batteries on the highest shelf and lower that bed mattress a little more.
Hide your pets, put your crotches and spears in trade secrets drawer( Then maybe keep moving once a few weeks, exactly to be safe .)
Because you aren’t going to tame that feral offspring. Best you can hope for is to simply survive them.
And if some Know-It-All wants to tell you otherwise, “theres going” find them a drunk and hungry hyena. Shove it into some Doc McStuffins pull-ups, and drop it off at that Know-It-All’s house.
Tell them it likes to eat broccoli and truly needs a bath.
Then go back in 24 hours and see how self-confident Mr. Know It All still been thinking about parenting your feral born child.
Now it’s true-life that parents of feral offsprings are tired. Our whisker is all frazzled and our residences falling apart brick by brick. We have long since given up on trying to impress the world with our awesome, awesome parenting skills.
We are okay with the facts of the case that our child is wild. We are okay with the mess and the noise.
Believe it or not, we even RELISH IT.
( A little bit .)
Because exclusively a feral infant can school you to see the world through an unfiltered lens. Merely a feral infant can see a world-wide of escapade in 1/8 acre flat, grassy lawn. Simply a wild, unadulterated spirit knows the exultation of streaking through the house after a bath, screaming like a banshee and feeling high winds on their buck naked skin.
It’s a little crazy, but let’s be honest: it’s fairly freaking fun.
Some offsprings are just born feral. It’s true.
The sooner we accept that, the better off we will be. And just a anticipate, but maybe…just maybe
We have a little bit to learn from these wild at heart, freedom-filled, life-relishing little humans.”