This spring Jonathan and I participated in a panel discussion on issues of sexuality and parenting. During the course of our conversation, I verbalized two things I think are important when it comes to talking about sexuality with our children. First, from very early on it is necessary to cultivating a mistrust of friends’ info. And second, virginity is not the level: purity is .</ strong>
Long before we ever thought about talking about sexuality with our children, we encouraged them to come to us with the things their friends told them. Then we could tell them if their friends were devoting accurate information — or not. We happen to be a very talkative household( “youre supposed to” can’t is hypothesized that, are you able ??), and our children report back to us with gusto.
The things they tell us their friends said are ,< em> almost without exception , incorrect. By now it’s almost a family joke. We started such an approach early and are hoping it continues into the teen and young adult times. We’ve now started telling our older kids that when it is necessary to sex, their friends will more likely not be correct .</ strong> They appear to believe us because this has been the case for so many other topics over the years.
One more thing about the friendship issue: we need to include Google as one of these untrustworthy “friends.” There are a couple reasons for this. The internet may very well dedicate scientifically or Biblically accurate information — but not necessarily. And young people have difficulty discerning reputable sources on the internet. Additionally, observing porn during a Google search is literally 1 second away. I know this because it happened to me. Ew . The internet is not our friend when it is necessary to sex education .</ strong>
Cultivating a mistrust of friends’ info is something we can do from earlier age before we begin talking about sexuality or even begin envisioning about talking about sex. But where reference is do begin talking about sex, we need to start steering the conversation away from virginity — which has been a traditional behavior of talking about sexuality and wedlock — and aim it towards purity .</ strong>
Virginity refers to an event. Its loss might be a past event or a future event, but it is still a one-time occurrence. Purity, on the other hand, is a state of living and a nation of being. No matter what our past is, because of Jesus, purity is possible in the present and in the future.
Purity is what Paul means when he tells us to press on . Purity is what Jesus intends when He tells the woman caught in adultery to is now going sin no more . Virginity will fail us, but purity is always available.
Our virginity status isn’t a pre-requisite for matrimony. God cares more that we are currently living in purity than whether we enter marriage a virgin.( Of course, if you’re a virgin, that entails God wants you to remain so until matrimony .) But if sexual afterlife has been admitted, repented of, and forgiven, those specific sins don’t thing anymore. We — and “our childrens” — are clean now.
So let’s not talking here virginity, other than to define what it is.< strong >< em> Instead, let’s teach “our childrens” to walk in the way of purity and commit to walking in that lane ourselves .</ strong>